Venue: The Orchid, Mumbai

There were three people in the panel, two men (M1,M2) and one lady (L1).

M2: So did you have your lunch?

Me: Yes sir, I had it from the institute.

M2: But the mess doesn’t start before 12.

Me: Yes sir, I ate at the restaurant.

M2: Okay, so what do you do at IITB apart from academics?

Me: Sir, I love playing Table Tennis.

M2: Who is the best TT player, men and women?

Me: Sir, Sharath Kamal. I don’t know about Women TT.

M2: And other interests?

Me: I read. Usually news and current affairs. Opinion articles.

M2: Okay. So have you heard the name Manish Sisodia? Who is he?

Me: Sir, he is the Deputy CM of Delhi. A worker with the Aam Aadmi Party. Also participated in India against Corruption with Arvind Kejriwal.

M2: Do you know what he did before that?

As if I am wikipedia.

Me: No sir, I have no idea.

M1: So what did you do at IIMA?

Me: Explained the project. And the model I created.

M1: So what all costs are involved?

Me: Explained.

M2: So do you really need modelling? Why cant you use sequential approach?

Me: Sir, that might save some time but there are trade-offs involved. Also, the model guarantees the most accurate optimal solution.

M1: Let’s say instead of fixed warehouse, I want to operate a cold storage truck. How will this be different?

Me: Sir, I believe you are talking about reefer trucks. Your fixed costs will reduce but you will have to increase labour compensation because of worse working scenario. Also, your capacity will reduce drastically. So essentially it is a case of small scale project vs large one.

M1: Good. What did you do at your internship in ETH?

Me: Explained.

M2: So this is all about bones. Where is mechanical in it?

Me: Explained the concepts of strain energy density and finite element analysis involved in the project.

M2: Okay. So what are your goals in life?

Me: Told him.

M2: So let’s say you have infinite money and want to set up something in your locality Maninagar. What will you start?

Why does everyone like fucking me on Maninagar. I am removing it from my address now onward.

Me: Sir, let me first analyze the problems that affect Maninagar. Water-logging is a huge problem. This is a ball-park guess but I can start some service to change that.

M1: But will you be able to get revenues from it?

Me: No sir, I don’t think so. That’s why I was hesitant about speaking it the first time.

M1: Haha. Think of some other thing?

Me: Sir, I can come up with a hyper-local news network. People can know what is going on in the area. News about digging/road blocks in some areas can help people plan their schedule better. This can also be a big asset in women safety.

M2: Nice idea. But again how much can you earn?

Me: Sir, again not much. But better than the last one. 😉

M1: You have infinite money. Why not set up a nuclear plant?

Me: Sir, that would help on the electricity perspective but there are huge risks involved.

In hindsight, I could have come up with solar plant or something for electricity. But since we have 24*7 electricity, I never thought of this as a problem. Turns out 24*7 electricity in Gujarat actually was disadvantageous here. Kya yaar, Modiji!

M1 and M2 were done with their questions. The silent lady now chipped in.

L1: So what are murine bones?

Fuck. I remember it being one of the two- either bones dried after cleansing with ethylene glycol or rat bones. I told I was guessing it to be the first one, but I wasn’t too sure. Turns out it was the second one. 😛

M2: Who is your role model?

Me: (Standard answer) Mahatma Gandhi. 😛

M2: Aur koi? Mother mat bolna.

Me: My 9th grade teacher, Mr. Gabriel Peters. He is a priest now. I consider him to be my spiritual mentor. I really like the way he thinks.

M1, M2: Good. Okay, that’s it.

Me: Thank you sir.

My preparation: 2.5/5
My performance: 3.5/5

Verdict: Converted 🙂